Sunday, November 11, 2012

Not Sure What to Call This

But then here we are, in my absolute favorite moment. The lights are out except for the laptop's. Everyone's asleep. The softly industrial hum of the new electric fan is the only thing that suggests the world outside is still alive.

Because for me there is only this. Funny how the rest of the day dims in comparison. It's sad, really, we were  quite clearly born to be in the sunlight. I thought a lot about my future today. It's always unhealthy. I've never believed anything good can come out of making decisions on Sundays.

Don't believe me, it's just something I'd say.

I've feared telling them I wanted out, but unlike my peers with troubled home lives it wasn't because I was afraid they'd say no. I was afraid they'd think I no longer liked having them around.

Well, all that worry is moot now. They have agreed and now it's time to hack into the world on my own. Where to go, though. Canada seems to have interesting landscapes. I judge the novelty of experiences by the plant life that surrounds it. That's why I like the colder regions, perhaps.

The only thing that's bothering me is how I no longer want my next step forward to be another 9-to-5 (6, officially). I've established I'm really not of that world anymore. I mean, I still go to work and all, and I still fulfill promises, but you should hear my heart, how it screams.

But then what do I do instead? What the hell do we need money for?

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