Thing is, I wasn't born an optimist. I was born a thinker, and thinkers, analyzers, they make the world seem bleaker than it really is. It's true.
But we live, you know. We see something today, or seek
out a feeling and go for it, and Good Things happen. These Good Things,
often, go unnoticed, and when they do, you lose your balance.
Things, when they come, they tend to fill up my mind with everything
that's wrong about me and the world. My mind magnifies, solidifies, the
Bad Thing, until it's all that occupies even the deepest, darkest
crevices of my brain. If you are unfamiliar with this tendency, chances
are you are well on your way to Other Good Things. Congratulations. Our
stronger minds do not mean they are better minds.
Or perhaps it is
a weakness. After all, entropy is default. But even books say some
people are born happy. Well let me tell you this, if, in about ten years
from now, I have become a happy, self-assured, self-motivated
individual capable of taking on whatever life throws at me, then we can
all say being happy is something you can learn.
Because God knows the past ten had been a bust in that department. (There have been Good Things, I'm just saying my mind hasn't changed.)
The storm, it's coming, but seriously, we have so little left to lose. Bring it on.
(Note on August 12, 2012: Okay, you'll find this a little weird but this was posted originally on my Tumblr.
I'm doing some online housekeeping and I figured I'd leave my Tumblr out of the drama and corral introspective shit here. I left my blog last August of 2009 but I've reemerged somewhere between that and this.)