Thoughts, Pre-Storm

Thing is, I wasn't born an optimist. I was born a thinker, and thinkers, analyzers, they make the world seem bleaker than it really is. It's true.

But we live, you know. We see something today, or seek out a feeling and go for it, and Good Things happen. These Good Things, often, go unnoticed, and when they do, you lose your balance.

Bad Things, when they come, they tend to fill up my mind with everything that's wrong about me and the world. My mind magnifies, solidifies, the Bad Thing, until it's all that occupies even the deepest, darkest crevices of my brain. If you are unfamiliar with this tendency, chances are you are well on your way to Other Good Things. Congratulations. Our stronger minds do not mean they are better minds.

Or perhaps it is a weakness. After all, entropy is default. But even books say some people are born happy. Well let me tell you this, if, in about ten years from now, I have become a happy, self-assured, self-motivated individual capable of taking on whatever life throws at me, then we can all say being happy is something you can learn.

Because God knows the past ten had been a bust in that department. (There have been Good Things, I'm just saying my mind hasn't changed.)

The storm, it's coming, but seriously, we have so little left to lose. Bring it on.

(Note on August 12, 2012: Okay, you'll find this a little weird but this was posted originally on my Tumblr. I'm doing some online housekeeping and I figured I'd leave my Tumblr out of the drama and corral introspective shit here. I left my blog last August of 2009 but I've reemerged somewhere between that and this.)