[After-thought: Yes, I am prone to word vomit. This'll go soon, so humor me. I put random break spaces so you can breathe. Thank me later.]
I was leafing through the Queen Elizabeth issue of Time (which by the way I have waited for months to subscribe to hoping they'd cycle through the free upon-subscription gifts and I'd chance upon the heavy-duty/photogenic telescope
which, thanks to a random conversation over Pidgin with Rhea turns out not to be as mini-space-lab as I'd expected so I subscribed next chance I got and got bag torqued with not one but 4 bags as gifts) when I read something in the mag about getting free subscriber-only content via iPad and
thought why won't it work on my iPod Touch and so like any normal person would do I decided to google it but while doing so I thought hell they would have explicitly stated the Time app would work on iOS devices if it did but no they only said iPad but well, you know me, my fingers were faster than me and so there I was, traipsing through the Time website when I saw the article about the zombie
apocalypse starting in Miami (you would have heard of it, the face-eating psycho, the innards-throwing psycho and the brain-chomping psycho--I know, Dexter came to mind, too) and
remembered this article on Psychology Today about the same kill chain and tried to look for that, something about these murders being the uber-internalization of social pressures/feelings from various stressors in our wild crazy world but then I thought
nah, it's drugs
and so I went back to Time and yeah they're blaming it on this new street drug that's been going around (they call them bath salts) and how bad bad trips can get and how there's this actual never-before-seen video of the guy eating the homeless guy's face and I thought hey nice to know they upload everything to the Internet but nawr that's something I'll never watch and so I went back and read about how
there's this whole thing about how it's stupid how cops blame the drugs all time when it's really, statistically, a history of violence that has only ever been able to predict future bad behavior--if you need me to explain that to you I don't
understand it either it's a bit of like the cycle of madness you get when you're a fresh grad trying to get a job and you can't because all the jobs say you require experience and you think you're screwed because how the hell will you be able to get the required experience if the stupid job ads won't hire you because you don't have experience (that's a borrowed sentiment I read somewhere)--it blows the mind, I tell ya
and so since it can't just be the drugs I let it go and did a side search and tried to look for legal hallucinogenics because I recalled how Steve Jobs and Philip Zambardo (the guy behind the Stanford Prison Experiment) used to trip and a fleeting angry, frustrating thought skittered about how is it that certain plants could be illegal when they're...bloody PLANTS, you know, with chlorophyll and roots and all and that's
how I stumbled upon a news report saying that video of Miley Cyrus smoking from a bong was real but technically not illegal, since it was really just this leaf thing that's legitimately sold online and that's when it occurred to me to think there go thirty minutes of mind-numbing education and to go back and check out the Time app and then to realize that all I'm ever going to get out of this tiny digital adventure is the knowledge that no, I can't get that Time app working on my iPod Touch.
That, actually, that is the sad thing.