The Life and Times of Christina the Astonishing

The Probable End

2009-08-08T17:36:00.005+08:00

..is that I'll get derailed by all the thinking that I forget to be here when it matters. I refuse to do this anymore unless absolutely necessary. I can't think of one reason not to right now.And then, of course, there is micro-blogging. That's where you'll be seeing me from now on. So it won't be so sad. Thanks for watching.If you know me a little better, there'll be pictures, too, somewhere in

Close Ties with the Matrix

2009-08-02T18:47:00.000+08:00

Lieutenant: I think we can handle one little girl.Agent Smith: No, lieutenant, your men are already dead.Well, it can't be helped. The middle finger of my left hand twitches by itself. The I that I think is me is looking at the world and seeing nothing worth looking at. It's becoming a chronic feeling of boredom that I just manage to live with day in and day out. It's tragic. I used to have so

Vestiges of Birthdays Past

2009-08-02T08:11:00.001+08:00

It's Mayee's birthday today.Driving around from the airport we saw places and remembered stuff we used to do.The thing with memory, everything's always pretty looking back. Well, not always, but often if you really want it to.There's something different these days. I'm not sure what I feel about it.But I'll make do.Dear Mayee, I hope you write stuff in your journal and then post them in your blog

In the End

2009-07-24T18:54:00.000+08:00

We're all fucking attention whores.Admit it.

Hindsight

2009-07-13T10:17:00.004+08:00

We were fixing stuff in the house and I found this paper bag of letters people wrote me in highschool (some for some retreat, most were from ordinary letter exchanges). I realized I was a much kinder, admirable, giving, unquestioning person then.Which gets me to thinking if I learned something I really shouldn't have learned along the way to so-called maturity.

220-5283-33

2009-07-12T12:09:00.004+08:00

They made us stare out the windows all morning, and we didn't mind. Only, we weren't allowed to touch the glass that separated us from the greenery.The other dude hated me for not getting with the program, unlike the others who want to get the revolution going but what can you do. We're famous for what we create.Instead, I sat near the porch-like areas and started drinking beer and started making

Short Straws

2009-07-12T11:41:00.003+08:00

Setting out today to write. My mom offered to do the laundry, which is all I do during the weekends, almost. I played the cajon (monkey hear monkey do style) but I'm seriously considering reading sheet music (beats) for the songs I really like but how come there aren't any. All I scoped were some Jen girl demonstrating a "country two-step beat" and some basic drum drill but other than that the

Heavy Breathing

2009-07-11T19:51:00.003+08:00

Eyes on the prize, baby.Most important thing I learned from the sessions is to peg a stop-loss time limit to things I do, so I don't overwhelm myself. And that anything or anyone that makes you feel bad is most probably a waste of your time. So what you do--you stay far away. You do something else. You hit the cajon til your hands hurt. You listen to music. You read books. You learn something

I Don't Know What Comes Next

2009-07-07T13:09:00.000+08:00

So there I was right, I set the mood for some crazy-ass writing, I had dinner early, we waited for the birthday girl to come. I fired up little man George, sat beside the food to ward off roaches, and started typing.I got us far as the part where I remembered writing the last time, but after that I forgot how the story was supposed to go. I feel hurt that way because I thought I knew this Story

This Will All End Soon

2009-07-05T23:24:00.004+08:00

As I suspect the rumblings of something in my gut. I'm not sure--I can be wrong.I'm leaving for the condo again tomorrow morning for five days give or take and I'm wondering whether what I'm saving by way of commute money is worth not being at home for stuff. The cajon is at home and I can't access certain sites at work and we're coming closer and closer to a decision about which channels to

I Do This Sometimes

2009-07-01T22:37:00.002+08:00

I Don't Thank You Enough

2009-06-21T21:42:00.000+08:00

All of you.A book somewhere said you don't really go around living your life thinking 'hey, I'm happy right now,' or 'hey, I like this part right here,' or 'hey, they can write books about this,'--happiness or contentment is sometimes the territory of memories and thinking back at all the wonderful things in your life.But the thing is, the real thing is, there are days when I can go around

We Watched Bands All Week This Week

2009-05-30T02:46:00.003+08:00

And it's true and I like it and it is perhaps the coolest thing I've been able to manage considering--hmm, a lot of strange things I've been feeling lately. Nothing like the magnified beating of your heart, reflected in bass guitars and percussion, colliding head-on with everybody else's life force to recalibrate your mind.Some lines may fall short. Your words can fill them in and it'll be the

No Lessons Here

2009-05-18T22:40:00.000+08:00

Next thing I know, weeks pass.Things are noisy, everywhere. I bought some manner of foot soak. I try to chase that moment in between thoughts that the (audio) book says is our lifeline to eternity (not in those words) while staring at the white bathroom tiles.Nights are good, mostly. Weekends were crazy (first time at Sonya's and then Anawangin), several lunches were free, I have met (and re-met)

Hey Hey

2009-04-26T17:36:00.000+08:00

... tama na satsat! Magsusulat nako! Ako lang pala hinihintay mo pakyu ka akala ko may gusto ka pang ayusin, pagandahin, paganahin. Tapos ka sakin, kapatiiiiid!{Macky to story: done by May, disappearing for a while}

Attack of the Roaming Demagogs

2009-04-14T23:07:00.000+08:00

Black Saturday I was sitting in some salon in the middle of what will later become a spontaneous prayer meeting. Seriously. We were in adjacent couches and one manicurista started talking about how deplorable her life was.And then it begins, the subtle injection of Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior into innocuous sentences by the customer to my left. My ears prick up whenever I hear preaching. The

Straddling

2009-04-05T10:46:00.005+08:00

Figured I should give up something today Struggling, struggled against doing certain things I find natural to me, {doormat shmormat, mistaking pushover for laid-back, John Wayne complex, the sick consensual acceptance about helpfulness, gallantry and chivalry being the sole domain of men, the extra mile is the brown nosing mile, how the honest off-handedness is really false humility: I may suck

Level Up

2009-04-04T17:44:00.000+08:00

Here we go the website's done, but now there's time to tinker around with wordpress and see whether that'll give me better-looking layouts. But before that I must go to sleep. I am tired and looking forward to the short vacation: tomorrow I will clean shoes, try to train the dog, repair some skirts, fix the website and write some words down.Urgency. Sometimes I'd like a little reminder just how

Dusky as Hell

2009-03-31T21:57:00.001+08:00

(Rinah reminded me--I was about to start off this post with umitim akooo)Well. So. The weekend was a blast. (Only to come home to people waiting for the Internets to die or something on account of DOWNAD but later on that.)I had three major resolutions from the trip: I had to learn to drive, swim, and buy a slap box (aka cajon).We saw much greenery, water (a river, a couple of seas, waterfalls),

Weird Thing About People

2009-03-22T14:36:00.003+08:00

is you miss them when they're not around but they waste no time getting on your frikkin nerves when they aretoday I printed out the book hoping I can get more people to read what I wrotein Bullets over Broadway this big guy calls himself an artist because he creates screenplays/scripts that were never meant to be producedI admire the arrogance by which he looks down upon writers who want to see

Sogbu, Bogchi, Lahat Masaya sa Alaala

2009-03-13T17:19:00.000+08:00

... kanina dude ang daming pagkain nung una nag-crave ako ng chocolate sa ulam pero hindi ko nasatisfy kasi ang naiisip ko talaga yung pang-fondue pero nasa malambot na manok pero ang ending ko pa rin ay arroz ala cubana--na tragic dahil ang hinahabol kong lasa ay yung namatay na arroz ala cubana sa jollibee na ako lang ata nag-oorder kaya naphase out--sa sugarhouse pa ako umorder neto wag ka,

"We Are The Eraserheads"

2009-03-08T07:28:00.001+08:00

Kahapon bumalik ang nakaraan.May malalawak na espasyo bawat uri ng ticket. Nakaharang ang malalaking TV (or, specificallly, kung saan nakakabit ang malalaking TV--naisip ko tuloy mas magandang may tangkay na lang yung mga TV para konti lang ang naaabala). Matagal kaming nakatayo.Nagsmall talk sina Anne Curtis at mga babae at isang lalaking hindi ko kilala. Nagsigawan ang mga katabi ko ng boo.

Icon, Legend, Class Act

2009-03-07T09:32:00.000+08:00

As I write this, Tito, Vic and Joey are singing Kaleidoscope to pay tribute to Francis M. Yesterday, a strange cosmic surge of awareness probably zipped through the Philippines as the guy breathed his last. We were at Sugarhouse, talking about the Eraserheads, when one thing led to another and somebody mentioned Francis M. The TV is showing pictures of him during his last days. They even showed

Spade

2009-03-06T15:20:00.001+08:00

Things are simpler when you call them by their names.Sure I hide alternately behind vagueness, angst, and a sunniness too rare to be called a personality trait. But every once in a while things get clear and it is only by their getting clearer that everything else gets better.What is clear to me today is that I like the kind of value I feel I freely give to the world. What is clear to me is that

Anything For You, Twix

2009-03-02T18:51:00.000+08:00

Nothing much today except that I hated the long trip before I finally got to buy myself three Twix bars.

Bartending Blues

2009-02-22T18:40:00.001+08:00

I'm setting up a website.Now, see, this reminds me of when I first took (or first took notice that I was actually taking) an I.Q. exam, and the unexplainable sadness I felt when the results came in that said I was merely above average (when all the while I thought I was bordering on genius, a sentiment shared* by my highschool professor Joey Boy Soliman--who does not remember me anymore).I

Off With Its Head

2009-02-20T16:23:00.000+08:00

*wachaaak* (or insert appropriate head-chopping sound here)So. The reason this is happening--that thing people around me can't name, understand--should go away. Can't be bothered explaining the what, the how, the why--who bothers to listen to me anymore these days anyway everybody's got their own thing going on can't be bothered I can't be bothered so no, this is no basis for a good/productive

Weekend Irregularities

2009-02-01T16:50:00.001+08:00

This weekend was, to say the least, strange and inappropriate. You would think this would be more or less a typical two-day break from work: meaning self-imposed brain vegetation (or is it vegetization), but quite ironically, I've had more action last Saturday than the last four weekends combined (taking out the wedding, and the date with cheeses). The universe probably punished me for the

Gone Some Place Dark

2009-01-30T09:39:00.001+08:00

So this is what it's like. It's a risk you take, a choice you make. You wonder from afar how they do it.And so this is Christmas. This dark place, me with no extra matches.Only these: the arrogance to pretend I know what I'm doing, the anger to start things off on their destined paths, the irresistible sexiness of being alone and answerable to no one.Here it is! The bloody tunnel near the void!It

Live Fast, Die Young

2009-01-20T15:20:00.001+08:00

So what is a kinder word for sheeple? I'm asking, because we have to have a point of departure. We don't want to be sheeple. We want to liiiiiive.Well, so, the moment I begin wondering whether why I hate people has anything to do with any ugly past experience, I question why the assumption that my past has anything to do with what I am today is so strong. But the fact is, plain and simple, people

Cheese

2009-01-18T05:50:00.002+08:00

And so off we went to see the cheeses at Galileo Enoteca. There weren't much but enough to keep me excited. I met Grana Padano (nutty, hard cheese ala queso de bola but less saltier, drier and...crunchier?) and Asiago (creamy, not salty, not fabulous though) and then Eric tells me in a past foreign business trip he went to this cheese festival where there were all sorts of cheese (not just the

They Never Get Me Right

2009-01-17T12:50:00.001+08:00

I relented, and did a couple of tests. I don't really think I'm that original, or outgoing, or unpredictable, but it's one missed shot after another, so I'm posting none of them here, even the ones that said I must be a pretty cool girl (because it also said I only look that but really have a solid moral backbone--where's the justice in that).And I really just posted stuff because I really really

5:30

2009-01-16T15:26:00.000+08:00

Anong magandang bagay ang nangyari ngayong araw na ito? Wala, mula pagdating, hanggang magdown and fserver, hanggang lunch, hanggang magmeeting, hanggang nagtrabaho uli, hanggang umuwi. I did wear nice eye makeup but did that do anything to improve the day? Does it tell you anything about my maturity thus far at twenty-{ano na nga ba} if I say today the littlest things bothered me so much I

Could've Been Twittered on the Spot, But I Don't Have That Mobile Update Thing Going On Yet

2009-01-13T15:42:00.000+08:00

I've been meaning to write about these mythical creatures called the Millenials (on account of two guys from my team are just about the coolest kids I know) but figured I'll wait for something in the way of inspiration and frankly I'm hardly in the right frame of mind to heap praises on anybody. Instead here's what I have to say about random stuff in my limited sphere of existence:Strange

Me and Story

2009-01-04T12:53:00.004+08:00

The trip was full of stops and starts, full of flirting at the sidelines, late nights, early mornings, messy reconciliations, close-eyed surrenders, and prodigious blood-letting. So it's hardly been beautiful; it's been sometimes difficult, sometimes uncomfortable, most of the time I felt I was running with blindfolds on, chasing after a romance no one else believes but myself.It started

Making Darkness Visible (An Uncharacteristic New Year's Post)

2009-01-01T19:51:00.005+08:00

I have never looked at pure evil in the eye. Fortunately my relatively sheltered existence kept me from the very real atrocities of crimes against humanity, from terrorism, from sadistic, crazy men on the streets. But the flakiness of human nature continually fascinates me: in Psych 101 I agreed to faint for a social experiment testing people's helping behavior. The punch line came when Tish, a

Paskong Pang-Adik

2008-12-31T13:11:00.001+08:00

Kung may inaasahan ako tuwing Pasko, ito ay yung mga Christmas songs sa NU. Actually kung regular ka nakikinig sa NU, alam mo na sinasabi ko. Kung hindi, eto sila (worth a listen, swear):Santa and His Old Lady by Cheech & Chong is about two dudes talking about Santa Claus and why he doesn't do that bit anymore. Lyrics here.This one, by a duo, again, is the 12 Days of Christmas by Bob and Doug,

Murdering Your Masterpiece

2008-12-30T04:55:00.000+08:00

People with so-called artistic vision often have to bow down to dictates of the market or the community, this is glaringly evident in the movie industry, which is why, I think, Neil Gaiman said something about how if moviemakers are going to stray even a little bit away from the artistic vision (meaning not only the plot, the storyline or the dialogue, which was the case in 300--no straying, I

Ironically, I Believe in Easy Words

2008-12-29T09:47:00.000+08:00

I used to get so much heat for using big words. Which is weird seeing as I think I have the smallest vocabulary I know. I keep feeling there's a lack of words to describe things. That there should be more. An entire dictionary's worth. Or two. Or sixty-three.Like how do you describe that feeling that you want to be loved in a way you are currently being loved, but not by who's doing the loving

Eskwelang Kwela 'To

2008-12-28T21:13:00.001+08:00

So oo, pinanood ko ang Iskul Bukol under the guise of holiday-themed libre for the family. Gusto ko sana to maging review pero biased na ako to begin with so ang sasabihin ko na lang e well alam na naman nating lahat kung sino ang ninuno ng mga katarantaduhan sa mundo ng komedya. May spot on, may malubhang corny, may mga hirit na second nature na sakin iinject sa araw-araw na buhay.Ang mahalaga

Post-Vartebedian Conundrum (or, Jealous That Penny Gets to Call Everybody "Honey")

2008-12-26T18:04:00.003+08:00

I admit. I have been secretly calling people sweetie in my mind. Since 2007. Since the 14th floor. Both for sarcastic purposes and the sincere kind. The only thing stopping me from calling people sweetie out loud is the to-be-expected look on the faces of people who have been living/working with me for the longest time.[Note: I might try that for 2009. My first goal was to eat all known cheeses,

Forgot to Say Thanks, Universe

2008-12-26T04:53:00.000+08:00

The year ran out on me more along the vein of having fun. I did have fun. Loads. Tons. Universes-full. Friends leaving wasn't fun last year, and neither is it any fun this year (or next, but still hoping), but there you go. Life goes on, new things happen. Nothing gets replaced, just new and new things filling the plate. It's all good.Frankly I would not have thought I'd get anywhere to where I

Fiction vs. Non-Fiction

2008-12-24T06:58:00.001+08:00

When I was younger, I thought the only books in the world were about stories. When I learned the words "fiction" and "non-fiction" I thought fiction referred to stories about the unbelievable, and non-fiction referred to workaday normal-life stories (say, Danielle Steele and Sidney Sheldon--books I never read because I assumed they lacked creativity). Hanging out at the school library didn't

Inappropriate

2008-12-24T06:50:00.000+08:00

Inside the cab, with Eric. It is Christmas Eve tomorrow. I am sad. He asks why, I name two things.There are more than two things.I did write about trying to be happy this Christmas but I guess that's what happens when you try.Things.Things happen.They may have happened outside of the holiday season but they happened during it, anyway. And now there's really not much to do but look at the next

Pasko

2008-12-16T17:30:00.000+08:00

The reason it's been sucking the last twenty-x years is because I've expected Christmas to suck every year. In the earlier years it wasn't like that but it's probably up for one of those Freudian explanations: When I was younger my brother did not get a gift from Santa Claus, fast forward to this year, I feel that every good thing in my life is wholly undeserved, blah blah. Or maybe when I was

Eto Nangyari sa Cred

2008-11-11T01:13:00.002+08:00

Nawala. Nakapaglakad naman galing condo, pero sa may McDo nahulog na lang bigla. Nang walang anu-ano. May sinabi tungkol sa bagong sapatos, ewan ba't nanghina. Basta nanghina, nahulog, nahawakan ang lupa. Naka-three inch wedges. Mula condo. Pero nahulog. Sa may madaming tao. Kay lungkot.

Speaking of Toothbrush Spatter

2008-11-08T13:54:00.002+08:00

While cleaning the dishes one of the cheap glass freebies gave way and cut my right ring finger rather deeply. Last time I ever got cut my entire body seized up, my brain almost blacked out, and my heart clenched so tight I had to remember to breathe. Post-cut I'd always recall the incident as being a bit over the top, flagrant overacting, considering, all in all, that it was a small cut.But

The Toothbrush Evades Me*

2008-11-07T20:03:00.003+08:00

I want to be funny again about this but when a girl hasn't gotten any sleep it becomes a little harder. When you revisit a terribly bad time in your life in your mind you sort of suck all sorts of bad vibes inadvertently but only because that's how the mind works. And when you focus on a feeling long and hard you sort of set up waves of future events to bring you back to a place where you will

Damn Birds

2008-11-03T17:27:00.000+08:00

There's some joke going on at home that I don't quite get.Last Thursday we heard bird sounds outside the house. My mother asks the father, "Did we get birds?" (We haven't had birds since maybe five years ago.) The father says no. I say (to myself), "What's up with that?"Last Sunday I heard bird sounds outside the kitchen window. And there they were, two African love birds with snazzy plumage that

17

2008-10-29T17:58:00.000+08:00

Bike tomorrow at 5.Spunkify chapter 13, the one where Blythe buries the dead Little People.Read the PrevX summary of the MS08-067 Server Service vulnerability. See what's so cool about it.Fulfill a mini-mission for a friend.Reminisce the smells of Escalada and the phased-out Riviera Sunset.Stare at wounds, call them battle scars.Live, live, live each moment like it was all there ever is.Because

Repent, Harlequin! (also, ruminations on time)

2008-10-19T14:52:00.005+08:00

Today my need for people surprised me.I will not readily admit to this, for I, unlike some I know, would be first to say I enjoyed time alone immensely. I don't know what about this lazy Sunday brought it about, whether it was my cellphone, which did not have a charge, or whether it was that I am, again, going to Mass alone.Or it had to do with reading an unexpectedly depressing (dunno why yet)

And Then Quite Suddenly

2008-10-17T04:54:00.002+08:00

I look at the world sometimes and fall in love all over again. I read a blog post from some guy about why "we are responsible for poverty in third-world countries." And how this guy is from the first world. And although I frequently flinch at compassion guised in disgust and pity, the guy was able to express logically how canceling third-world debt will do a world of good without adversely

21. Simple. Selfish. Demands.

2008-10-16T21:00:00.003+08:00

High time we make a checklist. Inspired in part by Melay's howe auditions, Ate Alanis (via Paul/Eric), and that tiny bout with mortality. (And yes, Paul, I lied about not blogging this.) Now to turn this into some noisy song:will choose one's causes over the love of one's lifehas a lifeis basically uninhibitedhas a sense of humor that can run the lot from high-level to extremely low-levelis

The Room is Spinning and I Can't Hold It In

2008-10-13T16:50:00.001+08:00

You can't really complain that the world isn't being kind to you if by virtue of the tragically low blood situation the parents require you to drink dark grape juice (few steps away from wine) every night. So now there's always this strange buzz in my head before I sleep which is probably more placebo than real, but, again, who's complaining.My father made me this bed table thing (really just a

Stand Still

2008-10-11T17:41:00.004+08:00

Fidelity to the lure of your own being is an act of high courage flung in the face of life. ~ Carl JungSpent, like overused dishragsWringing out of it: purpose, significanceThe approach to life that would make the most differenceI, I, I have so little, still, in front of meI must no longer be sorry for what I am.

I Suddenly Don't Know What's Cool

2008-10-04T13:04:00.000+08:00

The task: We're entertaining some balikbayans again this month, but this time it's just one family--2 pretty teenagers and 3 days touring Manila. Where to go?The limitations: I'm no good at anything of this sort, since my level of bedazzlement with regard to places and things is mainly driven by internal factors--so I don't really pay attention to what's happening around me (which is why I tend

Snowball

2008-10-02T18:55:00.000+08:00

The emerging patterns in your life suggest one thing: your mind owns you.So go fucking teach it who's boss.

Hi, I am Macky's Busted Resolve

2008-09-29T14:40:00.000+08:00

There's this shore, where I keep writing things on the sand, and the water keeps chasing it down into nothingness at different annoying intervals.Last Saturday my mother tries to paint my nails this deep red color, and together we realized there is a reason they offered this as a service in salons. My father asks why we color our nails and I ridicule this question with a smug, "Trip lang."I find

Mobile Blogging

2008-09-19T18:15:00.002+08:00

So this is what not having Innernets feels like. Don't know how much this is costing me but I MUST BLOG! I'm just saying I'm so prepared for this strange, strange weekend where I must stay inside the house or die. I have season 2 of Heroes, last few eps of House, and several strange movies to watch. That should keep me busy for the next x hours, yes? Plus I can maybe practice some piano while I'm

Mobile Blogging

2008-09-19T18:15:00.001+08:00

Mobile Blogging

2008-09-19T18:15:00.000+08:00

test

2008-09-17T13:04:00.001+08:00

You Are Never More Alone Than When You Are in Pain

2008-09-04T18:25:00.000+08:00

Every month, it comes, and the pain it brings with it is unexpected, often worse than the last. I cannot begin to explain it, it is different for every woman. I hate it when I hear about girls who never knew of this pain.Many times I hate that I am woman, and this is one of the reasons why. I am practical, and I am not a hero: I take in substances to make the pain go away. But this day was

Bubblegum Margarita

2008-08-20T23:01:00.000+08:00

The thing about oysters? They are inspiring to a fault. One day I shall be the boss of a famous sashimi place where they serve this puffer fish thing -- the kind that kills you if you don't cook it well. I will hire a genuine sashimi guy and will have tuna and salmon shipped everyday from where the relatives say it's easy to fish.But before all that I must win my amateur billiards tournament. We

Water Dipper ang Inggles ng Tabo

2008-08-18T12:13:00.002+08:00

Tinanong sakin yan ni Almira (sa San Miguel, hindi sa Trend) dati sa text. At dahil kailangan kong panindigan ang role ng pagiging repository ng useless information, sinubukan kong alamin ang sagot dito. Nakalimutan ko nga lang kung pano. Hindi ko agad siya nasagot pero dumating ang sagot a few weeks after at nagulat siya na naalala ko pa pala yung tanong niya.Kung alam mo lang na madalas ko

Anti-Climax

2008-08-03T11:02:00.000+08:00

I thought a vodka cocktail and some pieces of chocolate were enough to give me an interesting afternoon alone (which I won from the parents on account of I have not prepared anything for the Vegas trip on Wednesday) but two hours into digestion and I've done all the laundry necessary to keep me alive for the next two three weeks. I noticed after leaving some shirts to soak in detergent that I

(Mamatay Ka Sa Haba ng) The Thailand Experience

2008-08-01T20:47:00.002+08:00

Near Misses and Macky's Fabulous LuckBefore I begin this tirade let me say I almost didn't make it to Thailand (or at least only in my head) because I thought my passport was still in transit (as luck would have it the interview for my Visa for Vegas was Tuesday of the week I was leaving). The damn thing arrived the day before pala and so all was well in that area after all.Hindi lang yun ang

Greetings from Bangkok, Thailand

2008-07-30T16:36:00.001+08:00

It has always been a stupid dream of mine to blog from elsewhere in the world -- true, we can fake it but I'm talking about the actual penning thoughts to words drill more than anything (meaning, more of my side of creation than yours). Pictures and stories will follow but suffice it to say it's been a most interesting experience to be here -- and although I'm not very sure I'm ready for all of

Anong Meron sa Thailand?

2008-07-23T17:33:00.000+08:00

When things start lining up on your plate so fast sometimes you can't believe the rate that they're happening all so quickly you know you just have to take a step back and let it all in.So the crazy things happening over at my side of the world include being in two countries within a span of one month, getting that much-revered cuss word from the Bartender Extraordinaire (which only comes when

Libation

2008-07-14T18:21:00.002+08:00

We keep pretending we do not care, when truly the freedom lies in an open mind, in the realization that the worlds we create are entirely of our own doing, that the worlds we choose to move in have been manufactured in the exact specifications that our minds first set forth.He taught me this and now there is no turning back.We met there, again."My wings hurt," I said, after a while. We were

The Great Kick-Ass Upgrade (Also, My CMOS Got Pwnd)

2008-07-10T20:08:00.002+08:00

Sick of having to update the computer PC time each and every time I restart I finally googled the damn issue and came about the wonderful excuse to upgrade the Big and Beautiful (but no longer so) Kick-Ass PC: "Your CMOS is out of juice."There might be some way to fill her up again or recharge the batteries or something somewhere in the motherboard but I refuse to take any more of this patching

Word Mash

2008-06-26T14:39:00.002+08:00

Dahil Hindi Umulan Ngayong Birthday Ko

2008-06-23T18:20:00.000+08:00

font-style: italic;" size="2">(eto ang version ko ng birthday gift ko sayo: putol na bahagi ng isang kwento)font-family: Verdana;">text-align: justify;"> text-align: justify;text-indent: 0.5in;">font-family: Verdana;">Pero hindi pa tapos mag-construct ng complete sentence ang utak ko {Paano kumapit yung wig sa ulo mo -- } naramdaman kong hinihila niya ako papunta sa labas ng venue. Hindi ko alam

Writings on the Wall

2008-06-16T20:25:00.001+08:00

Actually, more of the study table. I'm getting the hang of sitting here with George, facing the wall, almost, getting into writing frenzies. What caught my attention tonight were those pieces of paper I have collected up in that rectangular corkboard (at eye level, see pic) throughout the years. And they are, so I can remember this moment, should I get into one of them Tazmanian devil cleaning

Sound Tracks

2008-06-15T16:58:00.001+08:00

(but only because although everybody harbors ideas of being loved, we have different versions in mind, and some of mine, like I've talked about before, have been better sung by Live--and there is nothing new about that, really)From "Dance with You"The stillness in your eyes / convinces me that I /I don't know a thing / and I've been around the world and I've /tasted all the wines / a half a

Separation Anxieties

2008-06-11T22:28:00.000+08:00

This After 26 Years in Baritone

2008-06-11T21:23:00.003+08:00

Eric once tried to justify my apprehension at speaking during telecons (and the mumbling / rambling / stammering when I actually do speak) to my being (or wanting to be) a writer. Kesyo baka daw it has something to do with how my mind works, in that before the thought gets out I do some mental editing until the real output sounds really... well.. not much (not much is being too kind -- the

Guess Who Better Start Reading

2008-06-06T18:53:00.001+08:00

... and writing, again. I just finished chatting with Mayra, a dear old friend from highschool. She had just gotten into this litany about the writers she likes to read (there was a Pamuk, South American writers, writers with crazy but utterly memorable imagery) when my fingers blurted out: gusto ko maiyak.And she asked, "?" and I realized I don't know why I said that. And so she gave me minute

A Girl's Only as Kick-Ass as Her High School Posse

2008-06-01T20:03:00.000+08:00

Can I just say the weekend was a total blast (I saw a live male stripper Saturday night, for starters--but this entry is about the 10-year highschool reunion), thanks for the most part to my unabashed smugness about the following aspects of the recently-concluded (parang ang haba e) high school reunion. May kahihinatnan din pala ang yabang kung pinaniniwalaan mo din deep in your heart. 1. the

Human Affairs

2008-05-24T08:48:00.001+08:00

I insist on anonymity for a number of reasons. Appearances intimidate me; my own is irrelevant: there is just way too much sensory input to tackle per person. And I'm not one to let things slip past too easily (not in terms of grudges, but impressions).I grew up in big groups when I was younger and I realize the reason for that now. Big groups do not really listen to you. They recognize your

Did You Ever Get the Feeling

2008-05-22T17:13:00.000+08:00

... that your StumbleUpon button knew you too well?

This Should Be in Twitter But...

2008-05-11T18:45:00.000+08:00

it is rare I get a thought this strong: this moment I am summoning all the forces in the universe to bring me a 21inch LCD monitor for the (no longer such a kick-ass but still big and beautiful) home PC. I've done this with taxis (getting one at a moment's notice) and the weather (never rains when I'm out without an umbrella) all throughout the past few days what's a little solid manifestation?

Bobby Andrews Knows Marvel

2008-05-01T18:34:00.000+08:00

I hereby repeat what the cutest thing on earth and I have been saying with smugness (to mask the worry) as the credits to Iron Man rolled: "Only the cool people know there's something worth waiting for at the end." (talking about this short surprise clip after the credits have run out)And who but Bobby Andrews (with a kid) should be waiting with us to watch it! It was half surreal - half lang

Posting This Thought Before This Thought Goes Away

2008-05-01T07:57:00.000+08:00

[typing madly while Kat figures out what to do with the .MHT for some shit that can tell me where I'm going with this piece I'm doing] How fast can I write? Quick as hell, I think. The main roadblock, as with many things, is the lack of anything to say. This is why seasoned writers tell new writers to write what you know. This is why journalists are out to get the truth of the matter. This is why

Monster Flu

2008-04-22T17:37:00.000+08:00

The Bartender Extraordinaire has been having fevers for the last thirteen days. I didn't want to fall in line, but I've been getting cues from the universe that it was coming. The dentists at my ortho were talking about a mutating virus, Eric asked us to buy him blankets (banig kasi?) of cold medicine yesterday, I myself have been getting crazy dizzy spells all day today.It's either the

Close to the Crater, Close to the Core

2008-04-21T17:24:00.001+08:00

We went to see a dormant volcano's crater and swim in it. We took the longer version of the trek (versus a route they called the Sky Way -- but there is an even longer version, the same route but on foot from start to finish) first via 4x4 then by foot. The terrain we covered changed from sand (hated it kasi bawat one step forward mo isang quarter step naman backward -- at least that's what I

May Finale Pa!

2008-04-16T16:40:00.000+08:00

What's a Ten?: Announcing to the world your undying love for comics and graphic novels by shrieking unceremoniously when you see stacks and stacks of comic books at this small comic book store at some corner in CyberMallWhat's Not a Ten?: Walking into the glass doors of said corner store after yelling, "Comics!," not realizing there was anything in front of me, stubbing my toe in the process,

At Hindi Lang Yan, Meron Pa!

2008-04-16T16:25:00.000+08:00

What's a Ten?: Sprouting security industry terms for phishing attacks and all other derivative terms to sound cool and in-the-know, while exuding severe bad mood for added coolness What's Not a Ten?: The look on Mayee's face when I actually said "spare phishing" (not once, but four times, and out loud), when I really meant "spear phishing," the look that said, "Oh my God I hope nobody heard that.

As It Happens, There's More Where That Came From

2008-04-16T16:16:00.000+08:00

What's a Ten?: Looking smug like the Kool-Aid pitcher licking a red and orange popsicle stick inside the elevator with office mates talking loudly to emphasize that my stellar presence is a force to reckon with What's Not a Ten?: The full blow-by-blow (via the shiny mirror-like elevator door surface) of part of a popsicle coming straight out of my lips and onto the floor, and feeling the

There's This Feeling I Can't Describe

2008-04-15T19:23:00.004+08:00

What's a Ten?: Getting one of your team mates to guess the song you're humming for Humdinger (the yellow card sa Cranium) first.What's Not a Ten?: Realizing you've been humming the wrong song.(unnecessary explanation: the song at the card was Stand By Me but I hummed Lean on Me; Rinah got it right, in fairness to my lowly humming skills, but still, the point went to the group with the guy who

Postmodernism/Pizza

2008-04-15T18:26:00.002+08:00

I had another one of them 'pucha, these things have names?!!?*' moments kanina thanks to Dr. Tom, colleague of Sam, happy Jap, who is the Sam at my home page blurb. This time me, Tom and Badet/Khudett/Shudet Khan talk about postmodernism (over pizza).The crazy thing is how people are always so eager to put labels on concepts. For me, I knew in my heart that this century was all about how it was '

I'm Back, Kids, and for That We haveThree Stories

2008-04-05T17:19:00.002+08:00

Still Fucking 20/20 Thank You Very MuchI went to have my medical tests done. Backgrounder: I have perfect vision. My peripheral vision is phenomenal. I can detect motion from miles away. I am Superman, and this is only because my hearing sucks and some other sense had to fill up that vaccuum. And so anyway, it was a Monday, I think, and the doctor, who was annoyed at first that I came to his door

The Buck Stops Here

2008-03-01T20:03:00.001+08:00

I'm giving myself a month. No more talking until I've got some real things to say about the things I care about.Until then, you won't be hearing anything from my right brain from me. So if this self-imposed silence goes longer than expected, that means I'm having a hard time getting rid of the bluff.This is all your fault, daughter Bik (in a good 'fault' kind of way).Goodbye, world

Hi, I am the Bartender Extraordinaire's Computer Technician

2008-02-26T19:41:00.000+08:00

Notes on my latest PC-related pagmamagaling:If your laptop's still driving a 256 stick, gudlak naman. Kahit anong reformat natin jan walang patutunguhan. Mabuti pa ay ibenta na lang sakin sa halagang sinko mil. Yuh? Kamon kamon you know you want to.Also, if you want your desktop and your laptop to talk, you will need parallel cables.

Joseph Bell is the Real Sherlock Holmes

2008-02-26T19:13:00.001+08:00

Haaaay this is just the sort of thing that fascinates me. Hosted on GoogleVideo, this is 45 minutes long. Old-timer's CSI.

My Fiction is Strong

2008-02-26T17:23:00.005+08:00

A thousand random things are running through my head, along with salt-lake tears.This is all I am, peon. Slave to dendrites.I have six hundred fifty-five (point two) settings mapped out in my head -- unapologetic superheroes fighting for concepts like freedom and utter simplicity.I am a mechanical bluffer, fiction runs in my blood. I don't know your myths, your legends, your fairyfolk -- mine

Techie: Ang Bayani

2008-02-25T09:58:00.000+08:00

Mayee and I know full well how something that started off as a joke can quite possibly make it as the title to an actual techshare. Later I go biking. Then maybe laundry. Then maybe I'll do something fun. Like watch Being John Malkovich.The techshare was alright, except for Jeff Wong (who was one of our classmates at the Empowered Communications seminar at Richmonde) was probably clucking his

One for the Road

2008-02-20T15:42:00.000+08:00

I decide to blame this on the hormones. The key is to smile, real wide, like there is nothing wrong. There was rain and a mighty mighty wish that I be gone from this world. Because I was not made for details and technicalities: I am light and wide and high-level low-level sneaking up the sidelines during games to get a whiff of the action. The whiff -- is all I ask. I do not wish to get into

Love Will Keep Us Alive (and Other Real-Life Dialogues from the Rye-Leam Wedding)

2008-02-10T00:18:00.000+08:00

"Ayan, may dede ka na. Ang ganda ng gown mo. Wala kang masyadong dede so okay yang mukha kang may dede." ~ Aling Maya, modista ng bayan, looking at me in her orange creation"May alternate career ka, ateh." ~ me talking to Kate, this together girl who has had it made (she's going to London Business School lang naman for further studies), and has done a great job doing my make-up, if I do say so